When you two were together, it started off as an idyllic fairytale relationship. You were all about your love life there. Things didn’t turn out the way that you wanted them to. You two broke up, and now you’re moving on with your current life.
The problem is? You’re still dreaming about your ex every night, or darn close to it. What gives? When should you worry, and perhaps more importantly, what does this mean?
Why Do I Dream About My Ex Every Night?
1. Before we get spiritual, we need to address the potential trauma you may be going through
The first thing that you need to be aware of is the fact that breakups can be ridiculously traumatic. If you keep dreaming of an abusive ex, have “replays” of an ex cheating on you, or have nightmares about an ex-boyfriend threatening you, that’s trauma talking.
It’s not uncommon for abuse victims to have frequent nightmares of an ex-partner who harmed them. This is actually a sign that you may have PTSD, or that you are still processing the trauma of a past relationship.
If this sounds like what you are currently experiencing, you may not need the help of a dream analyst. This is a sign that you should try to contact a therapist who can help you heal from the negative feelings you’re experiencing.
If you find that your sleep quality is starting to diminish as a result of this issue, you may need to talk to a professional about sleep aids along with help for coping with trauma.
2. This could be a sign of mental illness
Do you have ongoing and intrusive thoughts about a particular ex? Have you gone out of your way to try to force them to come back to you? If people have told you that your behavior around your ex is a bit obsessive, your dreams could be an extension of that.
Obsession over an ex, or even a potential partner, can cause dreams of your ex to pop up. If your real life emotions have been all over the place, you owe it to yourself to seek help for obsessive thoughts.
3. You may also just legitimately want them back
There’s something about losing a significant other that really stings, often in a way that other people tend to forget how much it hurts. If you had a good relationship, then you may want them back.
Even if you don’t overtly miss them, your subconscious mind might be telling you that you miss them. Ask yourself if you’ve spent waking hours wishing you could turn back the clock. If so, it’s just that you miss them.
4. This could also be a sign that your mind misses innocence, passion, or a certain part of your life
Believe it or not, it’s fairly common to have recurring dreams of your first love or even a distant ex. These dreams might mean you miss them, sure, but it also tends to mean that you are experiencing a massive wave of nostalgia.
As we grow older, we often miss the wave of butterflies that our first loves gave us. We also might miss the passion of young love, especially when we’ve settled down with a current relationship for years on end.
If you have a lot of resentment or disappointment in your current love life, those recurring dreams of a distant love might be a sign that you wish things were the way they were before.
5. It’s also fairly normal to still feel sexually attracted to an ex, at least for a little while
If you’ve been having steamy dreams about a recent ex, it could be that you just miss the bedroom activities you had with them. After all, a bad breakup doesn’t negate your physical thrills.
In most cases, those fantasies will subside with a little time (or even a new sex partner).
6. You may be worried that you’re repeating history with your current partner
Many people have that one ex where the relationship was pointedly toxic, to the point that they use that relationship as a learning experience of what they don’t want. While traumatic, the truth is that this relationship style tends to have a silver lining.
Do you find yourself comparing your current partner to an ex? Does your new partner do the same things they do, or even look like an old flame? These recurring dreams might be warning you that your new relationship is at risk of old mistakes.
In some cases, it also could be a sign that you have a lot of baggage to unpack from a past relationship. Take a look at how your relationship is panning out. Do you feel you need to work past issues before you continue things? It may be time to address that feeling.
7. It may be a sign that you’re yearning for closure
There’s something to be said about a relationship that you never quite got over. Whether it’s because you want an apology, an explanation, or a sense of finality to the end, that need for closure can mess with you.
If the ex in question kind of left without closure or a feeling of “Okay, it’s over and I understand why,” the recurring dreams may reflect that need for finality. Unfortunately, most things in life do not get much closure. This is something that has to come from within.
8. If you have recurring dreams about a deceased ex, it could be a visitation or a need for communication
It’s important to realize that not all dreams about an ex have to be psychological in nature. There are some moments where there actually could be something metaphysical going on, especially if the ex in question died.
An ex that was a twin flame may come back in a dream visitation, especially during times that are tough for you. They may offer advice, messages of encouragement, or just a sign that they are still around. The same can be said about soulmate connections.
Visitations from exes may sometimes happen as a way of saying that they’ve passed on. If you haven’t heard from your ex recently, check to see if they are still alive.
9. Dreams of an ex apologizing can be quite dicey.
There are two different ways to interpret a dream about an ex who keeps apologizing. For the sake of this article, we strongly encourage you to take things in a more concrete and psychology-based manner.
The most common reason why people keep dreaming of an ex who apologizes deals with a desire that you have. Your brain could be yearning for scenarios that involve an ex saying sorry for the wounds they inflicted on you. Dreams are a way of getting those needs met.
In rarer situations, it could be that your ex really does feel remote for the way they behaved with you. Superstition suggests that extremely powerful unresolved feelings from an ex may be communicated through dreams.
With that said, an apology in a dream should never be taken as an apology in your waking life. It may be best to just experience the dream, feel a bit better, and move on. If your ex reaches out to apologize, then you can know that the dream might have been a message.
10. This dream could also be a sign that you have finally gotten over your relationship.
Did you have a relationship that broke your world when it ended? If so, you probably grieved for years over it. Or, it could have simply been traumatic or made you wonder about what could have been.
It’s normal to struggle with a breakup, or to still feel some modicum of attachment to an ex. After all, guides on how to get an ex back are profitable for a reason! However, if you are dreaming of an ex on a regular basis, it could be a good sign.
A dream of seeing your ex dead, or a dream of walking away from an ex can be a sign that you finally overcame the hurt from the relationship’s end. On a similar note, frequent dreams about your ex can also suggest that your mind is helping you overcome the relationship.
Believe it or not, the same can be said about dreaming of killing your ex or even just seeing an ex wave goodbye in a dream. It’s saying “So long, farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, goodbye!”
Did you have a moment in your life that involved recurring dreams about an ex? What did they mean, and what were the dreams like? Was there a paranormal aspect to them you found out about? Tell us about your experiences in the comments below.